The Soul Of A Woman

It’s her depth, foundation, cultural being and experiences wrapped in demonstration and story-telling that encompasses the soul of a woman. It’s her intrinsic nature, her essence that breeds generational tradition – old and new. It’s her effervescence, yet calm, her strength yet vulnerability, her wisdom yet culpability that deems her worthy, powerful and noble.

The soul of a woman is reflected in all of us because we ALL possess the depth, foundation and cultural experiences that denote our existence. And as we discover ourselves, we naturally connect with other women whose stories and history inspire us profoundly. 

Among the many women who have significantly inspired me, 5 stand out. Their words or conduct have encouraged me in various ways to embrace my purpose and use it to encourage other women to do the same. Three were active participants and the other 2 had a message that will live on indefinitely. 

SELMA BURKE

I heard Selma Burke speak years ago while visiting Spelman College. She was an elder, but agile and full of soundness of mind. I’m paraphrasing, but as she spoke of overcoming obstacles, she looked with deliberateness into the audience and said something like, “Sometimes we can’t climb over an obstacle, and we may not be able to go under it to reach our goal. So, we must make like a serpentine and find our way around the obstacle.” I thought her statement profound, because it suggested that we don’t necessarily have to move obstacles out of our way, we need to be strategic enough to move ourselves out of the obstacle’s way.

CICELY TYSON

 I met Cicely Tyson at the Wyndham Hotel in downtown Atlanta several years ago. I had just completed a model’s search for a showroom my best friend and I were representing at the Atlanta Apparel Mart, and we visited the hotel’s restaurant to rest. I saw her when she walked in. Gorgeous and graceful with her entourage of 5. I hesitated to speak because after all, my presence was unexpected, but I didn’t want to feel unwelcomed by the great Cicely Tyson. If you really know me, you already know I couldn’t resist meeting her. I

approached slowly so as not to appear aggressive or star struck. “Hello, Ms. Cicely Tyson,” I said. You’re absolutely beautiful.” I felt myself shaking a bit because there I was standing before a woman who refused to portray women any other way than with dignity and honor. She responded, “You’re beautiful too.”

Her gaze was penetrating and intentional and she ensured that I felt visible and heard.

It’s a practice I utilize everyday now in my dealings with others. As part of my personal image, persona and brand, I seek to make everyone I encounter feel visible and heard. And I want them to experience me — Just As I Am. [Pun intended.]

MAYA ANGELOU

The queen of phenomenal women, Maya Angelou, says in her book, Wouldn’t Take Nothing For My Journey Now, that “each of us has the right and the responsibility to assess the roads which lie ahead, and those over which we have traveled, and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the roads back uninviting, then we need to gather our resolve and, carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be read to change that as well.” Maya Angelou encourages us to experiment and explore to find our purpose. It’s a very personal undertaking, but when we discover our purpose – we discover ourselves. 

SUSAN L. TAYLOR

I was approximately 12 when I began browsing the pages of Essence Magazine and discovered the most beautiful of Black women and women of color. I was immediately inspired, and my self-esteem was through the roof because these women looked like me! Their coiled hair matched mine, their skin matched mine and their features matched mine as Susan L. Taylor celebrated us and told us that we were beautiful, intelligent and worthy of

honor and respect. Yes! I said. Yes! Yes! Yes!  She graced me with an interview when I was just entering the world of journalism as a freelance writer. But it was what she did some years later that really impacted me. While visiting Atlanta, for a book signing, I approached and showed her drawings of covers for my soon to be published book. I asked if she thought I should do the cover art in color or black and white. Since the image on the cover featured African women etched in black and white we chose a black and white cover together. After years of uplifting Black women, Susan has now turned her attention to our youths through her work as founder of the National CARES Mentoring Movement. This initiative encourages Black men and women to mentor and nurture young Black impoverished youth and to help them to heal and thrive. 

JOHNNETTA BETSCH COLE, Ph.D

I joined the Spelman College team as an administrative assistant in 1995 and discovered one of the most extraordinary women I have EVER met.  We were gathered for a campus wide event.  And there she was...being escorted to the stage by African dancers and drummers.

She was the 7^th president of the College and the first Black woman to lead the College that was founded specifically for women of African descent. She gathered those young students together like a mother hen gathering her chicks. She began speaking, “Sisters...” she began in that smooth velvety voice.

It was a cultural phenomenon of dignity being passed on through leadership, support and a woven message that unmistakenly said, “I believe in you.” Johnnetta Betsch Cole, Ph.D was teaching all of us, with that powerful term SISTERS, that we are a united front of women that should collectively and individually support each other. 

I reached out to Dr. Cole via email while working there to share with her an unexpected but lovely experience I had shared with her son in the Spelman parking lot one day. I sent the email and phrased my sentiments in such a way that if she didn’t respond, I wouldn’t feel ignored. But she DID respond. She extended a rather long response acknowledging everything that I addressed and she responded personally. It wasn’t a response from her assistant – it was Dr. Johnnetta Betsch Cole, the President of Spelman College responding with love and kindness to an administrative assistant.  She demonstrated what I already knew, and that is that status, position and title doesn’t excuse us from treating everyone with dignity and respect. She wore her genuine interest on her sleeve and it was evident. 

I’ve been around Dr. Cole a few times since her retirement, and at 89 she is STILL teaching! YES! SHE IS! This time she has joined forces with award-winning professional speaker, executive coach, and 6-time author, Snowden McFall in offering a weekly blog post. Check them out at https://wmnmakingchange.com/. 

I think it’s wonderful and super encouraging that at 89, Dr. Johnnetta Betsch Cole is still educating and inspiring other women. In a recent webinar Dr. Cole said that mentorship is reciprocal. On this 1 issue I must disagree. She is influential and yet humble, which makes her powerful. I believe it is her humility that makes her not recognize that she has mentored both tangibly and intangibly. It’s her character and grace, her message and brand that serves to mentor others whom she may never know. But these others know her and whether the mentorship is one-on-one or intangible, it is Dr. Johnnetta Betsch Cole’s extraordinary example that will continue to guide us through. 

We are a sisterhood of men with a womb – womb men – WOMEN. 

I want to encourage all of you to be vigilant about finding your purpose and living in it. There are those whom you will emulate. There is work that you produce that others may replicate. But no one will ever be able to duplicate exactly what you produce. Because what you produce, your gift, your voice is YOU.   Push yourself to your personal excellence and MOVE!  

MARIO'S MESSAGE

Reflection Question

Where in your life are you being called to show up more boldly and authentically?