THE FREEDOM YOU GIVE
One of the most solid lessons I’ve learned in my 62 years is to offer people the noble quality of freedom. I’ve used it mostly with my sons and, through the blood, sweat and tears, I can see that it works. NOTE: I didn’t say it was easy. I just said it works.
When my oldest son decided that he wanted to grow his hair out in middle school, I hid in my bedroom closet, held my head in my hands and screamed in silence for a good 15 minutes. He has beautiful, wavy hair and he just looked so polished with it short. But I told myself, it wasn’t my head, and it wasn’t my business. After all, he had the right to see himself as he chose to see himself without subliminal feelings of doubt. I needed him to grow up feeling both confident and humble at once.
When my youngest son decided that he wasn’t going to pursue his extraordinary talent as an artist, [I begged him to do the illustrations for one of my children’s books] I grabbed several blankets from the linen closet, returned to my proclaimed happy space, my bedroom closet, and hid my head under my blankets pretending to bury my head in the sand. He’s really good! We still have Sketch pads that we purchased for him hoping he would change his mind, but nope! Didn’t happen. Of course, now he’s a mixologist and creates amazing pairings for meals both alcoholic and non-alcoholic.
I use the same ideology in my other relationships as well. Of course, with my hubby. But with my girlfriends and associates as well. I’ve noticed that when you extend non-judgmental freedom of expression, people are drawn to you. They actually want to hear your viewpoints, and they trust subconsciously that you will respect their decisions even if their choices aren't yours.
But the greatest gift you receive is the non-negotiable freedom you provide to yourself. You are liberated because you are a liberator. You are empowered because you understand the undeniable truth that when you grant freedom to others, you are most likely to offer it to yourself as well.
Live and let live!
MARIO'S MESSAGE
